Not A Memoir - Forward

This wasn’t supposed to be a memoir.

Honestly, I still don’t think it is. Not in the way most people mean it. I didn’t write this because I’m important or exceptional or have a TED Talk brewing. I haven’t invented anything world-changing. I haven’t survived a plane crash or a public scandal. I’ve never been on a list. If you Googled me, you'd probably find my LinkedIn and maybe a mildly unhinged blog post.

No, this started because I was trying to write an essay. One essay. An essay about honesty—specifically, about how most people aren’t really honest, not with themselves. And how that lack of honesty makes life feel confusing and unstable. I wanted to explain how I’ve stopped being afraid of change or being wrong or having my whole sense of self rewritten, because I’ve had it happen enough times that I know I can survive it. More than that—I know I come out better every time.

But in order to explain that, I had to explain why I used to be so afraid. And then I had to explain what changed. And then I had to explain what it cost. And before I knew it, I was writing scenes. Rebuilding memories. Naming things I hadn’t named before. I wasn’t writing an argument—I was telling the truth. And apparently, the truth came with backstory.

So, here we are. Not quite a memoir. Not quite an essay. Something in between.

If you’re looking for a narrative of triumph, you won’t find it here. I haven’t “overcome” anything in a way that’s easily packaged or marketable. But I have learned how to live in a way that makes sense to me. A way that values clarity over comfort, honesty over harmony, and rebuilding over pretending it never cracked in the first place.

This is the story of how I lost my foundation, over and over again—and learned not to fear the fall. It’s about what happens when you stop needing to be right, or good, or understood, and instead commit to being honest. Even when it hurts. Even when it costs you everything.

Especially then.

So no, it’s not a memoir. But if you want to call it one, I won’t stop you.